Posted on Sunday 17 August 2008
I’m eating pizza at this very moment. So, if you’re looking for a “lift your spirits” post this is not the place for you today. So, I suggest finding a dark corner, hitting that fetal position and letting yourself drift into a wave of tears or pile of pizza. The choice is yours.
Mine was obviously pizza and it was delivered by the creepy Pizza Hut man only minutes ago. He seems to be the weekend guy and is always just a little too happy and chipper for my taste. I literally saw him getting out of his truck and thought “OH MAN, not him!” Can’t I just have a pimply-faced teen who doesn’t care? A kid who takes my money and doesn’t want to talk about how nice a day it is or what kind of fish I have in my pond? I’m ordering pizza, not a Disney after school special, and I just want to open my door, get a good five second glimpse of the outside world and snag my damn pizza. Too much to ask?
I’ve been kind of a hermit lately and it feels like I haven’t cooked since Satan was pushing God off the monkey bars. It’s not that I’m depressed or that I’ve even given up. I know I haven’t given up and since all the takeout peeps are starting to recognize me again I know that’s a sure sign I’m about to get my shit together . . . at least I hope so. It becomes a little weird when the Chinese lady starts to ask you specific questions about your order over the phone. “You no want Cherry Coke tonight? You always get Cherry Coke?”And then there’s always the underlying, hidden message in her voice . . . “THANK GOD HE’S BACK!!!! We won’t go out of business now!!!”
Anyway, I’ve mostly just been existing lately in a sea of takeout and fast food, which sucks and I’ve gained a little weight back . . . which sucks even more. But, the war is not yet over and I’m not giving up. I shall move forward and just hope something will soon fall out of the sky to save me . . . like a fairy godmother on steroids. That would totally rock, but in the meantime I am going to go outside and pull some weeds in my front yard. The neighborhood Lawn Nazis have been giving me dirty looks. UGH!
I might go get a few pink flamingos just to piss them off.


