BigBonedMovie

The word RETREAT oddly has the word EAT at the end. Mistake or some kind of strange coincidence? Who knows!

I’ve been away for the last ten days at the Writers Retreat Worskshop where I’m a core staff member and even though the ten days are just as amazing every year, the food always feels like some kind of elementary school flashback. The fish is square, the milk comes in small cartons in both regular and chocolate (of course), and there are always multiple colors of puddings and J-ELLO available in various colors with expected dollops of whipped cream. Like I said . . . it brings back some memories . . . which is not necessarily a good thing!

It’s kind of strange, and I’ve always had a hard time at the retreat because it feels like all the food is filled with salts and fat and mystery this and mystery that. I mean, it’s not a shock. Lorin’s even said that she can tell people kind of get more bloated and puffy as the week goes on. I, myself, have never noticed this, but wouldn’t be surprised in the least But, I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by the NEW AND IMPROVED salad bar this year . . . at first. It was like a whole freakin’ table of goodness.

The days of “kind of brown-ish” Iceberg lettuce seemed to be gone! Yo could almost hear the streamers firing off in the background as a full marching band cruised through complete with fire breathers and acrobats! It was a banner day! Things in the world were truly changing! There was spinach and different greens! There were eggs and sunflower seeds and multiple cheeses and dried berries and just . . . wow . . . tons of different things, and it was crazy EASY to make an GREAT salad. I could finally avoid the square meats and gravy coated beef patties and mystery meals! Could it really be happening? Were the days of angry lunch ladies from the past truly behind me???

Short answer . . . not really. Hehe. Yeah, the salad bar was AMAZING for like the first few days. Then, things started to run out and weren’t replaced and by the end of the week we were all left with kind of brown-ish iceberg lettuce, chopped peppers and the mystery mayo-salad everyone had avoided for nine days. Now, I’m not saying there weren’t any good meals. There were. We had an awesome steak night with baked potatoes and there were a few other good things here and there, and I LOVE the kitchen staff and appreciate that their hands are tied, etc. but, there were a lot of really low points for me this year . . . chili dog day and Chinese night to name a couple.

Fortunately, I didn’t leave the reatrEAT this year any heavier, but it wasn’t insanely hard since the food was . . . “different.” We head back in August for another WRW, and I’m thinking and hoping we can have a talk with them about the food beforehand to make a few requests that will change some things up a bit. I’d just be crazy happy to never see that “chili” again as long as I live. UGH!